Life is how you make it :)

I just got home from FUEL meeting. Time check: 12:08am

Good thing Kuya Sayas brought his multicab. We were able to hitch a ride in going home.. Pondering upon the meeting, I can’t complain anything about the team I am now working with, except maybe for being time conscious because someone is always late in all the meetings so far. But other than that, I cannot complain about their professional working ethics. (as I said, except if they become more time conscious and appear early during meetings. Yeah, only that.) They work very systematically and are very well organized. They’re activities are well planned and they do not depend upon “God’s time”. I mean they really do their best with their work. I can’t help to compare them with the currently I am now with. Spiritually, yes their (MME) role and guidance is very vital in my spiritual life. I cannot see myself anywhere near the Lord without the teachings they have taught me. But when it comes to office works and planning activities, all I can say is.. They suck. Big time. The word “Let’s wait for the Holy’s Spirit intervention and direction.” I mean, hello? What will the HS do if we ourselves don’t work for the activity? Well, I don’t know with them. Their system of organizing events is “not as well-organized as others.” And I doubt if they will ever be.. >_<

Another thought about FUEL is: It’s all too good to be true now. All of them are very friendly and accommodating and understanding as yet. But then again, I just know that SOONER OR LATER “true colors” will eventually come out.. I just hope it won’t be as worse as the so called “MME evangelizers.”

On the other note: M’s memories still linger around my mind. I just realized, I don’t want to be alone because then, all I will ever think about is him. And the more I think about him, the more the pain and memories rush around my head and I lose my i-am-happy aura right then and there. Just that. 

Another thing is, the thought that he has found a new love interested beside him, over there, up there, down there, somewhere, it makes me sad like this: :(

So I don’t know how long I can still go with this “thing”.. because:

The moment I finally decide to stop this foolishness, another “positive sign” comes my way. And I go back from the scratch just like that. So yeah, good luck to me.

I honestly hate being melodramatic but these are the thoughts which keep on bugging my mind these past months.. What can I do? @_@